“Not Work Safe”

This title was thoughtfully provided by the biking forums I used to post on and served as a warning that if one occasionally had a look whilst at work, that the content of the post could include items that were not considered suitable. Could be bad language, sexual content or perhaps volume/music that may give the surfer cause for discomfort if their boss happened to wander past and look over their shoulder.

Should you see such a title contained within the posts of “K’Tel Tour the World” it may act as a warning that you may wish to avoid the subject if you have a delicate disposition or are embarrassed easily or perhaps you have an anti-bad taste gene.

With this recommendation duly issued I will now demonstrate why this particular post may be considered “not work safe” and remind you all that there may also be many, many more such titled posts in the future…

It has been brought to my attention that my posting style is not as usual- far too serious, not enough swearing and way too long. So, back to basics then- toilet humour.

As some of you may know, German toilets are not designed as per the UK counterpart. They have overcome the torture of splash-back by incorporating a shelf, half way up the pan which avoids the whole issue of soggy paper syndrome-finger-where-you-don’t-want-it. Fiendishly clever I’m sure you’ll agree (Vorsprung durch Technik they say around here* and ain’t that a fact?) except this allows much more involved visual inspection of your arse-chunder if you happen to have a fascination with such things.

I do.

Well, I am an ex-school boy.

This can however be quite alarming when you’ve been on the beer and curry trail.

*shudder*

Anyhoo, I digress. The problem with sharing one bog with your aunt and uncle having their bedroom directly next door is of course “natural” noises.

Why oh why, is it always in situations like this your normally cast iron guts decide they wish to emulate the bag pipes and accompany any dropping of the kids at the pool with a flatulence normally only witnessed during the latest hurricane? It’s not just aunt and uncle I’m concerned about but the entire block of flats.

“Take kein notissing meine kleiner kinder- it iss merely the Englischer Pig Dogs bombing uns vonce again” you imagine the Hausfrau telling her screaming offspring.

Two solutions: Sing very loudly- not so good late at night. Or better still, titter in a high pitched voice and hope wifey cops for the blame…

No doubt I’ll now have a clamour of fans wanting the old posting style back again. :-D


Or not….

*Well, they might do despite it being a rather cheesy ad slogan…